It's that time again. The middle of the week when I hook up with e, myself and I to let you know everything that is REALLY going on in my life so that you can feel just a little bit better about yours.
1. Currently I have a blister on my lip. I burned it. While trying to sneak a bite of too-hot, full-gluten cinnamon roll. I think that God was like, "Girl, I love you but you know you can't eat that!" BAM. Blister.
2. The blister is only slightly less humiliating than the fact that yesterday I spent about 1/2 an hour digging through the trash can...not the one under the sink (all you Dutch folks know what I'm talking about), the one on the curb. The big blue one. With all of our trash from the past two weeks (because remember, Chris was out of town last week and I wasn't about to move the trash to the curb - that's a boy's job!) Anyway, I accidentally threw away a $100 Visa gift card, and as I looked at that big blue can on the curb, I just couldn't bear to think that the card might be in there...sure enough, a few layers past the wads of used paper towel, bags from the bathroom garbage (no way I was opening those), one decayed chicken carcass, and 15 gaggy dry-heaves later, there it was...$100 Visa card! Hallelujah! And then I spent it. On Kaitlyn. Seriously, that girl should have been out there digging through the trash with me. Here's her new comforter that we ordered from IKEA with the Visa card:
3. Finally, I have spent two hours today watching Toddlers in Tiaras...and by watching I mean emotionally investing myself in the lives of spray-tanned and hair-teased 7 year olds. I caught myself saying, "Doesn't that mom know this is full-glitz? That second-hand dress is not going to cut it!" and "What exactly is going on with her hair, it looks like a rat's nest!" before catching myself and deciding to be polite and judge these women inside my head rather than out. And this then leads me to my true midweek confession.
4. It's not just that I like Toddlers and Tiaras because of the drama and the sass and the moms who are trying to relive their glory days...but because...wait for it...I WAS ONE OF THEM. Okay, not a glitzy seven year old beauty queen, but I was the second runner up in Miss Teen Grand Rapids my junior year of high school. That's right. 2nd runner up. Just 2 spots behind 1st place (and in all honesty that 1st place girl was 6 feet tall and looked like a man). Just to prove how awesome it was, here's a little photo gem for you...
Seriously, didn't I know about tanning in the 90s?? Geesh!
Anyway, that's my week so far. As you can see, it's been painful (the blister), stressful (the garbage incident) and emotional (reliving my glory days). But that's the real deal...and hopefully it's made you a feel a little bit better about your day/week/life (choose only one, please). Hopefully you've had a great week with no need for confession...but if not, you know where I am...I'd love to hear about it!
Cheers from a second-runner-up Small Town Girl
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