1. The "accidental" death of Sallie Mae. Seriously, she's a witch with a capital B. Before you freak out on me, of course I'm not trying to order a hit on anyone...I'm Dominican, not Sicilian! And seriously, she's not a person...she's the ginormous corporation that feels the need to constantly remind me every. single. month. that I got my education degree from a private college...and for some reason she feels like I need to pay her back in full...ugh. I hate her...and if any of you Sicilians out there know how to get rid of her...seriously, hook a girl up.
2. A laundry folder/bathroom cleaner. This is usually Kaitlyn's job, but since she's off nannying this week (and making enough money to get Sallie off my back, might I add), my laundry is just sitting in the basket getting wrinkles. I don't know what it is about folding laundry that I can't handle...seriously, I could just pop in front of Honey Boo Boo for an hour and get those babies folded up...but I. just. can't. My Dominican mom doesn't understand this..."You need a nice lady like my Crucita, to come in and take care of your house for you." Yes mom, I do, but THIS IS AMERICA, and if Crucita were working here pretty soon INS would show up, and pretty much that's why I have a teenage daughter instead.
|This basket of laundry has been sitting in the basement for a FULL WEEK.|
4. Vera Bradley. Not the bags, the woman. No, I'm just kidding, the bags (is there actually a woman named Vera Bradley?? Totally researching that after I finish writing this). So, I'm not really a florally type of person...I'm kind of like clean lines, solid colors...I'm not even shabby chic...I'm more like Pottery Barn...which is why I can't quite figure out my obsession with Vera bags - they're a bit old lady-y and that in itself makes me cringe...I'm not even 40 yet, people!! The crazy thing is that I LOOOOVE my school bag, and my hipster, and my phone case, and I would totally not be opposed to adding ipad case and wallet to that list. This presents a problem because SALLIE MAE keeps getting in my way of investing everything I have into a Vera-printed luggage set...I hate her! I would draw the line at Vera PJ's though...floral school bag = good, floral nightgown = Chris would KILL ME.
|Christmas 2012...Thanks, Mom!|
5. I think it's completely safe to acknowledge that I would totally work for selfish ambition and vain conceit. Seriously...get me ahead in life? I'm there. Which is apparently not an acceptable reason to work (Phil 2:3, NIV) and therefore I have pretty much decided that working without pay is probably not on my radar. I'll stick to a paycheck, give Sallie her monthly "Thank you for giving me the money to eventually get myself a job in order to pay you back" check in the mail, hug my daughter as she folds the laundry, and continue adding Vera bags to my Christmas wishlist. That being said, the next time my mom comes to the States for a visit, she better as heck bring Crucita with her!! For real!!
Lots of Small Town Love,